Family Bonding

Many times, my family and I will be sitting on the couch in what would normally have been a perfect opportunity to socialize and bond, but with current trends, instead of paying attention to each other, our faces are all being lit up by the glow of our individual electronic devices. Even though we are all in the same room, and even on the same couch, we are absent. This isn't an uncommon scene. In fact, almost everywhere I go I notice people locked into the images on their phones, mindlessly scrolling in apparent boredom. This new "connection" to the social media world might foster distant relationships, but it is causing us to disconnect from our present ones.

While we might experience temporary pleasure from our favorite television shows, apps, and video games, research has found that "gratification results when we invest rather than consume" (Hawkins, 2012); and what would be better to invest in than our families? Family investments might include hiking, bike riding, learning a new skill, or just playing together. Rather than just spending all our time consuming, investing in constructive activities offers psychological and physical benefits for children and adults. Children who do chores and participate in extracurricular activities have been found to score "higher on measures of quality of life and subjective well being," than those who spend their time at the mall or playing video games (Seligman, 2002).

Author, Richard Louv described modern day individuals and families as being "disconnected from nature," or suffering from what he terms "nature deficit disorder," or NDD (2005). Where people used to spend ample amounts of time outdoors, we now spend it increasingly indoors with electronic media as our companions. To treat the symptoms of NDD, we can turn to the "Project Happy Hearts" web page, where we find 5 suggestions for "ways you can improve your physical, spiritual, and mental well being by taking advantage of nature’s restorative powers." As a family, try some of these suggestions which include:

•  Exercising outdoors: Go for a hike, swim in a lake, or take a walk along the beach.
• Socializing outdoors: Have a barbecue, a picnic, go camping or play Frisbee together. 
• Meditating outdoors: Sit and watch the clouds, listen to the birds, or just enjoy the feeling of the warm sun and cool breeze on your face. 

Louv further explains the direct influence nature has on our physical health. "Stress-reducing contact with nature can influence mental and emotional well-being."

Spending time outdoors is a great way to bond as a family, but it's not the only way. If we really desire fulfillment, gratification, and happiness in our families, we need to seek out the most optimal activities that allow us to communicate, connect, and build unity. Family Vacations and regular meal times together are two great ways to achieve these things. We also want to make sure all family members get a chance to do something they enjoy. Something that has worked well for us is to have family councils before vacations. We discuss the possible activities that each person would like a chance to do, and then schedule a time to do them. We decided to go somewhere new, but not too far for spring break. All my kids enjoy camping so we will be spending a couple days at a new national park. A couple kids expressed interest in horseback riding, and my younger ones wanted a walk through a large park with a splash pad. My oldest daughter and I enjoy touring the area and walking through new shops. With a little planning, we were able to fit in at least one activity that everyone enjoys. We always build good family memories and strengthen our relationships when we do these things together. So, what are some things you enjoy doing as a family?