Mothering

The weirdest thing happened to me this morning. I came down the stairs and looked at the mess my kids had left from the night before...books strewn about, toys on the floor, dirty dishes, laundry...and I smiled. No, I have not gone insane...yet. The house was quiet and the kids off to school and I just thought to myself, "someday this will all be gone." And I don't mean the mess being gone, but the presence of the mess because that means that my kids are still here. The toys, the chaos, the mess, it all means that my kids are healthy, active, happy humans and I get to be in the moment of it all. Someday I will miss the toys on the floor and evidence of life in my home. But for today, I am going to cherish it. I love that I have a full nest and that I get to be fully involved in my kids lives as a stay at home mom.

Stay at home moms get a bad rep sometimes. Society does not seem to appreciate or value the work of mothers anymore. I feel that I am looked down on by some as being lazy or not fulfilling my potential as a women who has been given just as many rights as men. It seems I am not alone in this feeling. Surveys showed that less than "half of mothers (48%) felt appreciated most of the time, and almost 20% said they felt less valued by society when they became a mother" (M.F. Erickson & Aird, 2005). Some feel that working in a career is the best way for women to contribute to society and feel equal to the accomplishments of men. But I ask, who do these people think are going to be the future leaders of this world? Its not going to be the working mothers, it will be the children. The children are our future, and they have the best shot at being successful with devoted and loving mothers. I am not a slave to my children, to my husband, or anyone else. I chose this life. I chose to give my all to my family and it has come with many sacrifices and many opportunities. I learn so much from being a mother. Robert D. Hales pointed out just a few of these things:

"In the process of rearing her children, a mother studies such topics as child development; nutrition; health care; physiology; psychology; nursing with medical research and care; and educational tutoring in many diverse fields such as math, science, geography, literature, English, and foreign languages. She develops gifts such as music, athletics, dance, and public speaking. The learning examples could continue endlessly" (2008).

Being a mother has shaped me, given me understanding, empathy, and patience like I could learn no where else. I feel that this is Gods plan for me. It is a calling that I feel a tremendous responsibility for and humbled by the trust I have been given to raise the children that I have been blessed with. I owe it to my children and my Father in heaven to give the best I can to care for these precious gifts. The good news is, I don't have to do it alone. I am a partner with my husband and with God to teach, love, and nurture my children. God has given women unique abilities that make being a successful mother possible. We are naturally in tune and attentive to our children's needs. We have a special gift to nurture and love our children like no one else can. We organize our homes, set routines, practice traditions and facilitate meaningful discussions, which all lead to healthy emotional development. We teach, inspire, listen, heal, and encourage. All of these practices have been associated with better over all adjustment, well-being, greater academic achievement and lower delinquency. Isn't all that making our society better?

Don't get me wrong, bettering the world through my children can be stressful and exhausting at times. While mothers do feel extreme love for their children, we also need time for ourselves to "replenish our well of water." "Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children" (Ballard, 2008). I do need time to pursue my own interests and personal life. I find great support, energy and satisfaction in having some "girl time" with my fellow mothers. It is good to get out, let loose and have fun. Sometimes though, I have found myself becoming overwhelmed by the appearance of successful mothers who seem to have it all together. Women have a tendency to compare themselves to others and to lose track of the good they are doing. What I usually find however, is that things are not always what they seem to be from the outside. Everyone has struggles and insecurities. The important thing I try to remember is that I am doing my best and my children are happy and healthy. I love them with all I have, and that is the most important thing I can give.