Family Ties

The is a picture to the left is of my paternal grandparents, who both passed about 25 years ago. Even though it has been such a long time, I still have warm and fond memories of spending time with them. They lived about 6 hours south of us, but we would visit at least monthly. I can still remember the smell of their house and the taste of Grandma's homemade tomato soup.I remember helping Grandpa pick fruit from his garden and tend to his sheep in the field. Almost every time we visited, we would sit around the card table and play their favorite game of "Rook" while eating ice cream. The freezer was always stocked with buckets of ice cream.

 The next pictures are of my maternal step grandparents, who have both been gone for about 8 years. They lived closer, only about 45 minutes north, so I would visit them often and they would visit us. I spent the night at their house several times. They had horses, bunnies and even pigs at any given time. I loved to ride the horses. They also had a motor home which we would take on scenic trips together. Grandpa was a welder and known in town as quite a guy. Grandma was the town Avon lady. She always looked and smelled her best. They both loved John Wayne movies and they would kiss after every prayer. 

I am so grateful for the time I got to spend getting to know my grandparents. They taught me valuable lessons just by their examples. I'm sure I am a better person because of the time I spent with them. Research can back me up by showing that "children's perceptions of emotional closeness to their grandparents is related to reduced acting-out behaviors, such as promiscuity, drug abuse, and delinquency, and fewer symptoms of depression" (Hawkins, 2012). Time spent with grandparents is also linked to an increase in a desire to serve others. Its no wonder that 80% of people in the U.S. report the grandparent's role as extremely important. Many grandparents even adopt the role of primary caregivers, not an easy task. Children in these situations are usually taken from poor circumstances and do far better academically and socially when placed with their grandparents. You might describe these grandparents as heroes. 

A grandparent's role does not just stop at their grandchildren. They also continue to offer support to their adult children. Some have even referred to them as "the family national guard" (Hagestad, 1985), since they step in during times of trial to offer assistance. Neil A. Maxwell explained that their roles change as they "put on their uniforms and actively provide help" in emergencies. When the crisis is over they "change back into their civilian clothes and resume a more typical relationship with their children and grandchildren."

My hope is to pass on the blessings of grandparents to my children, and hopefully they will do the same when its my turn to be a grandparent. My parents live more than just an hour, or six hours away...they live in a different state across the country. Its approximately a 30 hour drive to get to them. While they don't see them very often, we talk about them and to them regularly. Hopefully someday my children will be able to reflect back on the time they spent with them and have fond and happy memories like I do. These family bonds and support systems are so vital, yet often get taken for granted. So go and hug a parent or grandparent. They do more than you realize.